My writing.Eng Hvac

[Eng HVAC 4139]

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I want to put my writing here

Eng Hvac

[Eng HVAC 4139]

با سلام خدمت دوستان عزیزم

نمونه رایتینگی که من اینجا میذارم برای امتحان جی مت هست، به این صورت که یه متن داده میشه و من باید براش دلایلی بیارم که اون متن درست نیست

در این امتحان اگر قسمتی از اون متن دقیق کپی بشه و نوشته بشه ایرادی نداره دلیل هم این هست که باید کاملا دقیق مشخص بشه که با کدوم بخش موافق نیستی

منتظر نظرهای خوب شما در مورد رایتینگ ها هستم

سر افراز باشید.

بانو

“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits

.”

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion

 

Analysis an argument

In this argument, comparing two things that there is no relationship between them has been done and also this comparison has not shown that costs minimize during years and then profits maximize. Also there is no clear reason that shows over time organizations learn how to do it better

 

Most conspicuously, the argument doesn’t show over time, the costs of processing go down because of organization learn how to do things better and they become more efficient. In fact, reviewing the example shows after about 14years for color film the cost has changed and it’s more expensive than before. Because in 1970 the price was 50cents for 5 day service but after that in 1984 cost was 20cents for one-day service and we can understand that the example doesn’t support main goal

 

Also the other point that can’t be persuasive is reducing price is not acceptable reason for achieving high quality

Olympics want to celebrate 25^th year, but it doesn’t mean that quality of food can be the best. Olympics occur every four year and during this champion some organizations need to prepare food for the population that attends in this match. Maybe because of number of people they couldn’t to have perfect service for customers

 

This argument explains some keys that they are not important for quality of good and it can’t convince readers

 

 

 

 

Thanks in advance

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[S.F 24932]

با سلام خدمت دوستان عزیزم

نمونه رایتینگی که من اینجا میذارم برای امتحان جی مت هست، به این صورت که یه متن داده میشه و من باید براش دلایلی بیارم که اون متن درست نیست

در این امتحان اگر قسمتی از اون متن دقیق کپی بشه و نوشته بشه ایرادی نداره دلیل هم این هست که باید کاملا دقیق مشخص بشه که با کدوم بخش موافق نیستی

منتظر نظرهای خوب شما در مورد رایتینگ ها هستم

سر افراز باشید.

بانو

“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits

.”

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion

 

Analysis an argument

In this argument, comparing two things that there is no relationship between them has been done and also this comparison has not shown that costs minimize during years and then profits maximize. Also there is no clear reason that shows over time organizations learn how to do it better

 

Most conspicuously, the argument doesn’t show over time, the costs of processing go down because of organization learn how to do things better and they become more efficient. In fact, reviewing the example shows after about 14years for color film the cost has changed and it’s more expensive than before. Because in 1970 the price was 50cents for 5 day service but after that in 1984 cost was 20cents for one-day service and we can understand that the example doesn’t support main goal

 

Also the other point that can’t be persuasive is reducing price is not acceptable reason for achieving high quality

Olympics want to celebrate 25^th year, but it doesn’t mean that quality of food can be the best. Olympics occur every four year and during this champion some organizations need to prepare food for the population that attends in this match. Maybe because of number of people they couldn’t to have perfect service for customers

 

This argument explains some keys that they are not important for quality of good and it can’t convince readers

 

 

 

 

Thanks in advance

 

 

از کاما استفاده نکردی چرا ؟

متن خوب بود.

ب جای also

چیزای دیگه بگو

besides

as well

in addition to

 

فکر نمی کنم، اشتباه گرامری داشته باشه .

از لحاظ بحث کردن، هم شیوه بد نبود ولی مقدمه رو جا داره بیشتر کنه. نتیجه ات نسبتا خوب بودش.

 

 

 

 

 

[Eng HVAC 4139]

The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company: “When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees.”

 

At first glance, conducting Apogee Company from single location it will be profitable, but when we think deeply about this field, there are some problems that we couldn’t neglect them. For instance, there is no credible reason that shows the centralization can cut costs and better supervision. although having different offices it doesn’t mean that supervision will have some problems.

There are many companies in USA and in Europe that they have established their companies in Asia. Not only in Asia the forces salary is not so high but also having places and every materials for making a company will be reasonable. Besides, setting companies in different places will have many advantages that if the Apogee company evaluate them it will be more targeted. Nowadays having multinational Companies are priceless. Working with different culture, obtaining different brains would keep firm more useful than before.

All in all, without evaluating it is not possible to explain centralization can have more successful. As we can observe majority of successful companies have different branches in different countries.

[S.F 24932]

The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company: “When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees.”

 

At first glance, conducting Apogee Company from single location it will be profitable, but when we think deeply about this field, there are some problems that we couldn’t neglect them. For instance, there is no credible reason that shows the centralization can cut costs and better supervision. although having different offices it doesn’t mean that supervision will have some problems.

There are many companies in USA and in Europe that they have established their companies in Asia. Not only in Asia the forces salary is not so high but also having places and every materials for making a company will be reasonable. Besides, setting companies in different places will have many advantages that if the Apogee company evaluate them it will be more targeted. Nowadays having multinational Companies are priceless. Working with different culture, obtaining different brains would keep firm more useful than before.

All in all, without evaluating it is not possible to explain centralization can have more successful. As we can observe majority of successful companies have different branches in different countries.

 

برای تفکر عمیق

ponder

و

ruminate

خیلی باکلاس ترن

 

دلیل منطقی

reseanable thought

 

البته خیلی مطلق حرف زدن نباشه باشه . ب نظرم بگی ک ب عقیده من منطقی نیست . یا مثلا من حس نمی کنم متقاعد کننده باشه .

 

 

that makes it reasonable

هم می شه برا اون قسمت ک نشون نمیده ک .... (ادامه جمله)

حالا نمی دونم سیستم چطوره، ولی کاملا مخالف بودی.

ب نظرم اینطوری بهتره ک بگی خوب. میشه برا اینکه بازار مثلا اسیا رو از دست ندیم . ب جای حضور دفاتر، سایتهای انترنتی با زبان بومی برای هر منطقه داشته باشیم. البته به نظر من ....(ادامه ماجرا )

پیوست : اینا فقط سلیقه است. انصافا ب متن ت حسودیم می شه

مجدد ب نظر من اشتباه گرامری نداری.

این سایت رو ببین .

برای مشاهده این محتوا لطفاً ثبت نام کنید یا وارد شوید.

• ورود
• یا
• ثبت نام

 

البته پولی هست. ولی شما از تو ورود بگیر بکش توش

کپی پیست کنی قبول نمی کنه

نرم افزارشم هست. گذاشتم تو سایت

 

ولی فکر کرده خیلی زرنگه. هر سیستمی ی باگی داره .

 

متن رو چک کردم برات

 

[TABLE=class: report_table]

[TR=class: error]

[TD=class: column1]Grammar [/TD]

[TD=class: column2] 7 issues [/TD]

[TD=class: column3]

• Use of articles (1)
  
• Use of qualifiers and quantifiers (1)
  
• Subject and verb agreement (2)
  

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR=class: error]

[TD=class: column1] Punctuation [/TD]

[TD=class: column2] 3 issues [/TD]

[TD=class: column3]

• Punctuation within a sentence (1)
  
• Closing punctuation (1)
  
• Capitalization (1)
  

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR=class: error]

[TD=class: column1] Style and Word Choice [/TD]

[TD=class: column2] 2 issues [/TD]

[TD=class: column3]

• Writing style (2)
  
• Vocabulary use
  

[/TD]

[/TR]

[/TABLE]

 

اینا رو نوشت. ولی ببین کلا خیلی خیلی خیلی گیر هست.

نمره 6 جی ار ای رو کلی ازش ایراد گرفت !!

[Eng HVAC 4139]

“In a recent citywide poll, 15 percent more residents said that they watch television programs about the visual arts than was the case in a poll conducted five years ago. During these past five years, the number of people visiting our city’s art museums has increased by a similar percentage. Since the corporate funding that supports public television, where most of the visual arts programs appear, is now being threatened with severe cuts, we can expect that attendance at our city’s art museums will also start to decrease. Thus some of the city’s funds for supporting the arts should be reallocated to public television

 

 

In this argument, Television can play an important role to inform people about their interesting subjects. But nowadays Internet affects on people life as well and sometimes it is more effective than Television and other multimedia.

At first glance when we read this argument, we think that cutting funds that is the main reason for decreasing attendance at art museums, but in this poll , it has not been asked residents how they know about art museums in their city. For instance, seeing advertisement in newspaper could be their reason to visit art museums.

Besides, in television the channels that inform people about their visiting places are not free and majority of people do not have money to do that. On the other hand, people don’t have time to watch television and it is another reason that shows the argument couldn’t convince readers

In conclusion, in these days multimedia plays an important role in our life and if we want to know which one of them has an effective impact we need to poll about them. And in addition to in this argument there is no reason that shows the poll was among people that just watch television.

 

[S.F 24932]

“In a recent citywide poll, 15 percent more residents said that they watch television programs about the visual arts than was the case in a poll conducted five years ago. During these past five years, the number of people visiting our city’s art museums has increased by a similar percentage. Since the corporate funding that supports public television, where most of the visual arts programs appear, is now being threatened with severe cuts, we can expect that attendance at our city’s art museums will also start to decrease. Thus some of the city’s funds for supporting the arts should be reallocated to public television

 

 

In this argument, Television can play an important role to inform people about their interesting subjects. But nowadays Internet affects on people life as well and sometimes it is more effective than Television and other multimedia.

At first glance when we read this argument, we think that cutting funds that is the main reason for decreasing attendance at art museums, but in this poll , it has not been asked residents how they know about art museums in their city. For instance, seeing advertisement in newspaper could be their reason to visit art museums.

Besides, in television the channels that inform people about their visiting places are not free and majority of people do not have money to do that. On the other hand, people don’t have time to watch television and it is another reason that shows the argument couldn’t convince readers

In conclusion, in these days multimedia plays an important role in our life and if we want to know which one of them has an effective impact we need to poll about them. And in addition to in this argument there is no reason that shows the poll was among people that just watch television.

 

 

این یا ان ؟

کاهش قیمت ها بعدش that حدف بشه . الان جمله ی جوریه . مفهوم رو خوب منتقل نمی کنه .

 

 

با این [h=1]WhiteSmoke 2009 / T-Gen / 2011 + Portable 2009 / 2010[/h] نرم افزار چک کردم.

ی سری اشتباهات گرامری گرفت .

مثلا واسه تبلیغ و روزنامه می گفت باس حرف تعریف بزاری.

 

__ب دوستان هم توصیه می کنم این نرم افزار رو دانلود کنند .__

 

 

ممم.

ب نظرم بجای خواننده بگی. من . اخه تو از کجا می دونی خواننده رو متقاعد نمی کنه . این متن از نشر تو لوجیکال نیست و یا متقاعد کننده نیست. یکم کلی گویی هست ب نظرم .

 

 

و اما این جمله اخر چیه تو نتیجه گیری؟

نکته جدید نباید مطرح کنی تو نتیجه گیری ها. خیلی تعصب دارن

 

هر دفعه ک می خونم چیزا خوبی هم یادمی گیریم.

مثلا اینکه من فکر می کردم.

at the first glance هست

ولی چک کردم دیدم اشتباه فکر می کردم .

 

ارگومنت خوبی بود . فقط می شد رو چیزا دیگه مثل جنسیت و سن افراد هم مانور بدی و بگی ک اره اینها هم تاثیر داره . و یا اصلا وضع اقتصادی اون افراد .

 

ی خوبی ک داری اینکه از کلمات خود سوال هم استفاده می کنه. (می دونم این مورد رو خیلی دوست دارن )

ولی تو این متن از andزیاد استفاده کردی.

 

 

ی چیز دیگه اینکه کلمات دشوار کمتری داشتی این بار، نمی دونم عمدی بود یا سهوی البته فقط حواست باشه .

 

important

or

significant

 

 

[Eng HVAC 4139]

The following appeared in a report presented for discussion at a meeting of the directors of a company that manufactures parts for heavy machinery:

“The falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing. These delays, in turn, are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing metals. Consider further that the manager of the department that handles purchasing of raw materials has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, but knows little about the properties of metals. The company should, therefore, move the purchasing manager to the sales department and bring in a scientist from the research division to be manager of the purchasing department.”

 

 

Having a perfect sense about business and marketing for a purchasing manager is extremely important. In fact, purchasing manager not only should be aware about time to buy raw material for manufacture that he/she works but also should be a psychologist in his/her major.

The argument is not logically convincing that the most problem has been caused due to the purchasing manager. Manufacture has a delay to deliver products for customers, and there are different reasons that can be yield these dilemmas. For instance, number of employees, division of job between employees, lack of coherent plans, etc.

In this argument, the purchase manager is aware about general business, and it means he/she can be qualified for this position. Although having a professional knowledge about the material that they work in that field would be a positive point, but it will not be sufficient.

Delay to buy raw materials for manufacture is the mistake of purchasing manager, but it doesn’t mean that all of firm’s problems are because of that.

Substituting the manager and choosing the other one, could not be the best solution. One of the most important points of a current purchasing manager is his or her awareness about marketing. Changing him/her is not a rational reason for manufacture.

[سیندخت 18786]

The following appeared in a report presented for discussion at a meeting of the directors of a company that manufactures parts for heavy machinery:

“The falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing. These delays, in turn, are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing metals. Consider further that the manager of the department that handles purchasing of raw materials has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, but knows little about the properties of metals. The company should, therefore, move the purchasing manager to the sales department and bring in a scientist from the research division to be manager of the purchasing department.”

 

Having a perfect sense about business and marketing for a purchasing manager is extremely important. In fact, purchasing manager should not only be aware about time to buy raw material for manufacture that he/she works but also should be a psychologist in his/her major.

The argument does not logically convince that the most problem has been caused due to the purchasing manager. Manufacture has a delay to deliver products for customers, and there are different reasons that can be yield these dilemmas. For instance, number of employees, division of job between employees, lack of coherent plans, etc.

In this argument, the purchase manager is aware about general business, and it means he/she can be qualified for this position. Although having a professional knowledge about the material that they work in that field would be a positive point, but it will not be sufficient.

Delay to buy raw materials for manufacture is the mistake of purchasing manager, but it doesn’t mean that all of firm’s problems are because of him.

Substituting the manager and choosing the other one, could not be the best solution. One of the most important points of a current purchasing manager is his or her awareness about marketing. Changing him/her is not a rational reason for manufacture.

 

 

dear banu

I bolded the gramatical mistakes which I found

 

about the third one: we don't use the word 'but' besides although

about the second one, writting that article was not a continuous act when U write the paraghraph below, so I think it's better to use "does" instead of "is

 

about the first one, I'm not sure if yours is wrong......but i heared the one which I bold

 

and about the last one, I think we should use a word which means to the purchasing manager....so the word "him" I think is right instead of "that

 

 

and also I doubt about using the words "him/her" continuously.....it isn't beautiful when U repeatedly use it

I'm not sure if we can just use "him" or not

 

good luck banu:icon_gol:

[Eng HVAC 4139]

dear banu

I bolded the gramatical mistakes which I found

 

about the third one: we don't use the word 'but' besides although

about the second one, writting that article was not a continuous act when U write the paraghraph below, so I think it's better to use "does" instead of "is

 

about the first one, I'm not sure if yours is wrong......but i heared the one which I bold

 

and about the last one, I think we should use a word which means to the purchasing manager....so the word "him" I think is right instead of "that

 

 

and also I doubt about using the words "him/her" continuously.....it isn't beautiful when U repeatedly use it

I'm not sure if we can just use "him" or not

 

good luck banu:icon_gol:

 

 

 

Dear Sindokht

I appreciate you to spend your time to correct my essay

this argument is not convincing ..... it's a sentence that GMAT Exam , mentions it to use, and It means It can be correct

 

and about not only

It's common to use it

not only.... but also

I should say, the sentence after them should be same

 

 

[Eng HVAC 4139]

“Since a competing lower-priced newspaper, The Bugle, was started five years ago, The Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury is to reduce its price below that of The Bugle, at least until circulation increases to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper

 

Price is one of the most important objects that majority of human being pay attention to that, but it is not the thorough aspect. Sometimes we prefer to have an expensive instrument but with high quality.

Since the price for the Burgle has been decreased, The Mercury’s circulation has been getting decreased. In this arguement there is no convincing reason that imply price plays an important role in competition Between The Burgle and The Mercury. Five years is a long time that many items could be affected in purchasing of newspaper. For instance, Burgle has added some parts in newspaper that has distinctive readers for them. in addition, putting the newest news would be interested for some people.

In this argument, there is no persuading reason that shows decreasing in The Mercury’s circulation related to lower price of The Burgle. We can mention, changing the price and allocating some space for advertisements that would be attractive for readers and putting the newest information about different parts of life for instance, economics, sports, society, etc could be beneficial for The Mercury.

[S.F 24932]

“Since a competing lower-priced newspaper, The Bugle, was started five years ago, The Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury is to reduce its price below that of The Bugle, at least until circulation increases to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper

 

Price is one of the most important objects that majority of human being pay attention to that, but it is not the thorough aspect. Sometimes we prefer to have an expensive instrument but with high quality.

Since the price for the Burgle has been decreased, The Mercury’s circulation has been getting decreased. In this arguement there is no convincing reason that imply price plays an important role in competition Between The Burgle and The Mercury. Five years is a long time that many items could be affected in purchasing of newspaper. For instance, Burgle has added some parts in newspaper that has distinctive readers for them. in addition, putting the newest news would be interested for some people.

In this argument, there is no persuading reason that shows decreasing in The Mercury’s circulation related to lower price of The Burgle. We can mention, changing the price and allocating some space for advertisements that would be attractive for readers and putting the newest information about different parts of life for instance, economics, sports, society, etc could be beneficial for The Mercury.

 

 

گرامر من کلی مشکل داره. پس یک متخصص هم نشون بده این متن رو اما

 

پی رو سوم شخص باید بگی دیگه.

 

دت هم بن نظرم باید بشه ایت

(تکرارش زیاده)

 

بات دوم ب نظرم اضافی ه.

قیمت بالا میدیم ک کیفیت بالا بگیریم دیگه !! نیازی ب اما نداره .

ب جاش ویت with بگی بهتره

 

بعد از (در این بخث) ی کاما لازمه ب نظرم.

 

امپلی هم اشاهر به ایز داره دیگه . سوم شخص باید بشه .

 

قبل از کامپتیشن. a نمی خواد ؟ بهتر می شه . معین می شه . نمی دونم والا

 

روزنامه هم the بزاری بهتر تره.

 

رسنت نیوز بگی بهتره. نمی دونم ی جوری ه این . گوگل بگرد ببین اصلا تا حالا کسی اینو گفته

 

 

این نیوست ی جوری ه . مدرن بگو. رسنت بگو. این کلمه ه ی جروی ه .

 

 

تحلیلت هم بد نبود.

ب نظرم جا داشت یکم ب تاریجچه هم اشاره می کردی. می گفت قدمت و اینا هم تو این کار تاثیر داره و از این حرفا