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سیندخت · 9 اسفند، ۱۳۹۱

Middle Child

"The middle child often feels left out and a sense of, 'Well, I'm not the oldest. I'm not the youngest. Who am I?'" says therapist Meri Wallace. This sort of hierarchical floundering leads middle children to make their mark among their peers, since parental attention is usually devoted to the beloved firstborn or baby of

the family.In general, middle children tend to possess the following characteristics:

People-pleasers

Somewhat rebellious

Thrives on friendships

Has large social circle

Peacemaker

Middle Kids as Children

Holly Schrock, a 31-year-old at-home mother of five in Newtown, Pennsylvania, describes her second-born child Maggie as an attention-getter with a mildly rebellious streak. "You'll say to her 'Go pick up the laundry right now' or 'Go put on your bathing suit so we can go to the pool,' and if she's in the middle of something, she'll look at you bald-faced and say, 'No!'" Schrock says.However, "middle children are the toughest to pin down because they do play off their older sibling," says Dr. Leman. For instance, the *** of the child is a big variable. If the firstborn child is a boy and the middle child is a girl, she may possess firstborn characteristics because though she is technically second-born, she is also the firstborn female. As the second-born child with an older brother, 4-year-old Maggie also qualifies as the firstborn female in the family, which may explain why she also possesses the nurturing leader qualities of a firstborn child. "Maggie likes to be a little mommy, especially to the younger ones." Schrock says. "She picks up her 2-year-old brother and tries to tend to his needs in a positive way. She's protective of them."

The Grown-Up Middle Child

Schrock herself is also a middle child. Sandwiched between an older and younger sister, Schrock exhibited the same rebellious streak that her daughter Maggie does. "I wasn't a bad kid, but I was definitely pushing the envelope a little," Schrock says. In fact, at one point during her

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years, Schrock became embroiled in an argument with her parents that resulted in her running away for three days. Though Schrock admits she has since calmed down a bit, she still won't take anyone's guff. "I don't like being told what to do, period."

سیندخت · 9 اسفند، ۱۳۹۱

Last Born

Youngest children tend to be the most free-spirited due to their parents' increasingly laissez-faire attitude towards parenting the second (or third, or fourth, or fifth...) time around. The baby of the family tends to be:

Fun-loving

Uncomplicated

Manipulative

Outgoing

Attention-seeker

Self-centered

Lastborns as Children

Megan, an at-home mom in San Diego, says her 7-year-old daughter Kacey loves the spotlight and will wrestle it away from others, if need be. "Kacey loves to go out into our backyard and put on shows," Megan says. "One time she was out there roller skating with her older sister, Jessica, but when Jessica started skating in these pirouettes that Kacey couldn't do, Kacey deliberately fell down to get our attention."

The Grown-Up Lastborn

Lastborn child Janice Lee, now 25 years old and working as an architect in New York City, definitely identifies with the simplistic, uncomplicated nature of a last-born child. "Most girls would die if their boyfriends didn't get them something for their birthday," she says. "But my boyfriend and I don't exchange gifts on our birthdays or anniversaries. We're very low-key. We'll go out to dinner, but nothing extravagant." Lee also has a pie-in-the-sky, "everything will work out" worldview: "I don't need to have that much security in my life. I like being spontaneous. I moved to Germany from Toronto for a job last year, and I didn't even speak the language," she says.

سیندخت · 9 اسفند، ۱۳۹۱

Only Children

Being the only child is a unique position in a family. Without any siblings to compete with, the only child monopolizes his parents' attention and resources, not just for a short period of time like a firstborn, but forever. In effect, this makes an only child something like a "super-firstborn": only children have the privilege (and the burden) of having all their parents' support and expectations on their shoulders. Thus, only children tend to be:

Mature for their age

Perfectionists

Conscientious

Diligent

Leaders

Only Children as Kids

Just one meeting with 5-year-old Lilia, and you'll see. "She has a sophisticated sense of humor and is often one of the few girls her age to get a sarcastic remark or double-meaning," says Lilia's mother Razan Brooker, a software business owner in Boston. "Her teachers are very surprised at her level of understanding of adult humor." Even as a younger child, Lilia exhibited noticeable maturity and diligence. Like most children, Lilia sucked her thumb. But rather than throwing a temper tantrum when asked to break the habit, "she agreed to it and threw away her 'blankie,' claiming that is what makes her want to suck her thumb," Brooker says. "She then proceeded to make a chart for herself consisting of 30 squares for the number of days she was told it will take her to break the habit." A month later, Lilia was sleeping with her hands by her side.

The Grown-Up Only Child

Even when only children reach adulthood, they may not necessarily shed their need to be model human beings, able to run a five-minute mile and cook a seven-course meal without consulting a cookbook. "I hosted a

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at my apartment and had to make sure the champagne was chilled, the music was on, the cats were locked in the kitchen," says Margaret Lloyd, a 27-year-old New York advertising associate. "Even after guests arrived, I kept fussing with things, even though it probably took away from some of my enjoyment that evening."

not found · 9 اسفند، ۱۳۹۱

منظورتون کلیه؟ یعنی تو هر خانواده ای فقط این قسمت حرف ها درست بوده؟ یا تو حالت خاص بررسی کردین؟

نه واسه خودم فقط:5c6ipag2mnshmsf5ju3

سیندخت · 9 اسفند، ۱۳۹۱

این مقاله هم به نظرم جالب اومد :)

If you're a first-born

Your philosophy is “I’m going to do this the right way, and so should you.”You are Conscientious, reliable, serious, capable, goal-oriented,

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, analytical, well-prepared, precise

.You crave Perfection

.You avoid Unpredictability.

People see you as A natural leader, a problem solver, an upholder of tradition

.People may be put off by Your critical eye, lack of forgiveness or bossiness.

Careers Engineering, law, medicine, education, nursing, accounting, management, information technology, research.

Relationships You expect as much of  others as you do of yourself, which may set you up for disappointment or frustration. A marriage between two first-borns may be like “a cat and a dog in a sack,” says psychologist

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, as you each strive to be the leader. Therapist

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suggests carving out separate areas in which to lead, such as one in the workplace and the other at home. Your best romantic match? A later-born

.Parenting your first-born or only You may set unreasonably high standards for your children, even subconsciously encouraging perfectionism. If your already perfectionist eldest child rips up a drawing or a project because “it’s not good enough,” Leman suggests you say, “I know it’s a big deal to you, but it’s not to me,” and walk away.

Famous first-borns Oprah Winfrey, Prince William, Kate Middleton, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Stephen Harper.

If you're a middle-born

Your philosophy is “Let’s look at this a different way.”

You are Sociable, flexible, open-minded, free-spirited, inventive, agreeable, sometimes rebellious.

You crave Fairness, and your own identity.

You avoid Confrontation and being pigeonholed

.People see you as A consensus builder,  a defender of the underdog, a peacemaker,  a rebel against injustice, a social animal.

People may be put off by Your secrecy, indecisiveness and unwillingness to share your feelings.

Careers Mediation, negotiation, diplomacy, social work, teaching, self-employment

.Relationships You are able to get along with almost everyone. But you sometimes defer to others in the interests of co-operation, ignoring your own feelings. A marriage between two middles could have both partners avoiding issues and

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, or “processing till the cows come home,” says Balla. Middles are the most monogamous of all the birth orders and the least likely to go into therapy. Your best romantic match? Any birth order, but especially a first-born or baby.

Parenting your middle-born Ensure that each of your children gets a say. Don’t wait for your middle child to come to you with a problem; sit down with him or her, close the door and say gently, “Honey, you seem bummed out about something.”

Famous middle-borns Princess Diana, Bill Gates, Shania Twain, Sarah Palin, Martin Luther King, Mark Zuckerberg.

If you're the baby

Your philosophy is “Sounds fun. Let’s do it!”

You are Charming, impetuous, entertaining, affectionate, persuasive, sentimental, insecure, adventurous.

You crave Attention and respect

.You avoid Responsibility.

People see you as The life of the party,  a risk taker, a trailblazer.

People may be put off by Your absentmindedness, self-centredness or manipulativeness.

Careers Acting, comedy, music, the arts, sports, sales, marketing.

Relationships You’re lovable but tend to want to grab the attention away from others. You’re impatient with the grunt work of life, such as paying bills or making appointments, and may instead dump it on your spouse. A marriage between two youngest-borns may focus on fun at the expense of responsibility. Your best

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? A first-born or an only. Leman says, “Babies need first-borns to straighten them out. First-borns need babies to lighten them up.”

Parenting your last-born You have great times with your kids but may be inconsistent with giving them rules and discipline. With your own youngest child, be sure to assign responsibility and hold him or her accountable.

Famous last-borns Celine Dion, Tessa  Virtue, Scott Moir, Ellen DeGeneres,  Cameron Diaz, Tina Fey, Eddie Murphy, Robin Williams,  Prince Harry.

This article was originally titled "Do these traits fit you?" in the

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of Best Health.

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to get the full Best Health experience–and never miss an

issue!

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"Dezire" · 9 اسفند، ۱۳۹۱

جالب بود

اونی که تک فرزنده فک کنم یه موجودِ داغونی ِ با این حساب

سیندخت · 9 اسفند، ۱۳۹۱

Oldest with Oldest

Can you say Bill and Hillary Clinton? The ultimate political power couple, two firstborns, is a classic combination of control, dominance and striving. Two firstborns often butt heads, says Cane, because both want to be in control of every situation. “They may fight over what movie to see, how to raise the children, where to live.” All relationships have these issues, of course, but these two strong personalities, used to getting their own way, may feel them more intensely.

Relationship Tip: Try to understand that as strongly as you feel about something (like where to go on vacation), that’s likely how strongly your partner feels about his choice. Take that into consideration and make compromises to keep the relationship solid.

Oldest with Middle

This can be a fine pairing most of the time, but the middle child’s tendency to mold herself around her partner may leave her in danger of not following her own dreams. Of course, a lot depends on how domineering the firstborn partner is, and how “classic” the middle child’s accommodating personality is. Remember, such variables as gender and age spacing play a role in how close your personality hews to the birth-order line, says Dr. Salmon. A middle child with close-in-age older and younger siblings is more “middle-ish” than one whose younger or older sibs are years apart.

Relationship Tip: If you’re the middle child, use your natural ability to compromise to decide what you’re cool with leaving to your capable firstborn spouse, and what you’d prefer to control. Then break out of your natural tendency to let things go, and speak up!

Oldest with Youngest

This pairing has some good mojo behind it: The youngest child is cared for, while the older sibling can exert control. “The baby of the family tends to be the type who needs attention; the firstborn, who was alone for a while in the family, doesn’t need to seek attention, because he or she usually got it,” says Dr. Salmon.

Relationship Tip: Emphasize the relative strengths of your personalities. If you’re married to a lastborn, don’t disparage what you see as his lack of responsibility. Instead, go with him on some adventures. Conversely, if you’re a lastborn married to an oldest child, you can learn how and why being

serious can be a good idea.

Middle with Middle

Too bad Jan and Peter Brady couldn’t marry! Their smack-in-the-center, sensitive, compromising natures would have given them an edge in keeping a relationship healthy. “In studies of marital satisfaction, middle children fare best all around,” says Dr. Salmon. Even so, if both of you tend to be the secretive type, you could have difficulty communicating.

Relationship Tip: Have frequent, air-clearing conversations about everything from money and *** to the kids, home and work so your individual needs don’t get drowned in a sea of compromise.

Youngest with Middle

While as a rule, middles can usually have harmonious relationships with someone from any birth order, this combo may present some issues. That’s because middles morph into the styles of the other types, depending on the dynamics of their particular family, says Dr. Salmon. A middle child with a much younger sib may act more like a lastborn (and the opposite situation may make the middle more like a firstborn). Relationship Tip: Try to suss out whether you have controlling tendencies (which you should keep in check so you don’t overwhelm your younger-sib spouse) or if you both are acting like “babies.”

Youngest with Youngest

These two can have a lot of fun—a pair of carefree, risk-taking lovers nearly always do. But the classic conundrum here is that no one wants to be in charge. “You may find that neither of you wants to handle the finances or make other important decisions,” says Dr. Salmon. Two last-born parents

could be in a tough position: Both may prefer to be the kids’ friend, not the heavy hand when it comes to discipline, which puts a strain on a marriage.

Relationship Tip: Try to figure out which of you is best at certain tasks (such as handling money or making decisions about the children), and then

own up to that responsibility, rather than assuming the other will take care of it.

Onlies with Anyone

Unlike the other birth-order positions, only children haven’t been studied as much, says Dr. Salmon. “Most people assume an only child will resemble a firstborn in relationships,” since they are, after all, first, but that doesn’t take into account the fact that an only never had an advisory (or bossy!) role with younger sibs. An only with a firstborn can be a good match if the only child acts less classically “firstborn.” And an only with the lastborn can present issues, says Dr. Salmon, if the only has had little experience with the relatively immature, attention-seeking behavior of the baby of the family. Perhaps no surprise, middles and onlies make a good match, with the middle child accustomed to the needy side as well as the possibly bossy side, of his or her “only” love.

Relationship Tip: If you’re with an only, figuring out whether he’s more like an autocratic first born, or a pampered lastborn, will help you work through relationship snafus more smoothly. And if you are an only, you may do well seeking out a partner of any birth order who has a clutch of siblings, if, says Cane, you were you were the type who always missed siblings in your own home.

آرسو · 10 اردیبهشت، ۱۳۹۲

بچه آخر در حالت کلی (خصوصا که هر چی تعداد خواهر برادرای بزرگ ترشون بیشتر باشه) کسی میشه که میگه "نمیدونم و نمیتونم " . چون شاهد ده هزارتا کار بوده که خواهر برادرای بزرگترش میتونستن انجام بدن اما او نمیتونسته! یا به شدت سنگ صبور پدرمادر میشن یا اینکه خیلی طلبکار برای احقاق حقوق خودشون و یا این که راه خودشون رو از خونواده جدا می کنن!!

نظریه ترتیب تولد رو آدلر ارائه کرده . به نظرم درسته

در مورد من که اون قسمت آخر صادقه

بدشانس ترین فرزندان هم وسطیا هستن .. چون هم کوچیکتر از اولیا و بزرگتر از آخریا هستن

کهربا · 10 اردیبهشت، ۱۳۹۲

من بچه دومم اما معمولا فکر می کنن بچه اولم !

رفتار بچه های اول چطوریه؟

samaneh noori · 24 شهریور، ۱۳۹۳

منم از 5 بچه دومی هستم و تقریبا با چیز هایی که گفتید موافقم :vahidrk:

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