جك انگليسي

[setare.blue 23086]

A man was praying to god.

مردی داشت دعا میکرد...

He said, "God?"

او گفت: خدایا

God responded, "Yes?"

خدا جواب داد: بله

And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"

و مرد پرسید: میتونم یه سوال بپرسم؟

"Go right ahead", God said.

خدا جواب داد: بفرما

"God, what is a million years to you?"

خدایا،یک میلیون سال در نظرت چقدره؟

God said, "A million years to me is only a second."

خدا گفت: یک میلیون سال در نظر من یک ثانیه هست.

The man wondered.

مرد شگفت زده شد.

Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"

بعد پرسید: خدایا یک میلیون دلار در نظرت چقدره؟

God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."

خدا جواب داد: یک میلیون دلار به نظرم یک پنی* است.

So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"

پس مرد گفت: خدایا ، آیا میتونم یک پنی داشته باشم؟

And God cheerfully said,

و خدا با خوشروئی گفت،

"Sure!...... .just wait a second."

حتما!.....فقط یک ثانیه صبر کن.

منبع:

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[ALI* 880]

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two

groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its

recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1.. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2 The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself

spending half your paycheck on accessories for

it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model..

:w00:The women won

 

Have a lovely day

[Turtoise 876]

why they won?

 

how long there will be discriminate ?

 

all the time mans have better idea but woman use their womanhood as a weapon to won all the competition!!!!!!!

 

 

oh what did i say !!!!! :icon_pf (34):

 

ha

[marjan17 4150]

same as ever:ws3:

 

women won

[Turtoise 876]

same as ever:ws3:

 

women won

it's cowardice

 

:icon_pf (34):

[bardia 39]

it is embarrassing but women are smarter :icon_pf (34):

[Turtoise 876]

it is embarrassing but women are smarter :icon_pf (34):

they are not smarter

 

:w00:

[marjan17 4150]

they are not smarter

 

:w00:

hoooooooom

 

what you say

:167:

[Turtoise 876]

hoooooooom

 

what you say

:167:

 

nothing

 

i said you are very small . nooo smart

 

 

ha

[marjan17 4150]

 

nothing

 

i said you are very small . nooo smart

 

 

ha

if im small

u r nothing:w16:

i cant see u

jealous man:w00:

 

 

 

 

[ALI* 880]

Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?

Husband : Nothing.

Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??

Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

-------------------------------

Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband : Sure, what are my choices?

Wife : Yes and no.

-------------------------------

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your

picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can

there be greater than this one?

-------------------------------

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and

lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or

troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

-------------------------------

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up

my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap

-------------------------------

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father

hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

-------------------------------

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it! He wants to scare his parents."

-------------------------------

Interviewer to Milionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a

millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: " Billionaire"

------------------------------

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face

or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour.

------------------------------

[FrnzT 18194]

:jawdrop:

 

dear Ali:ws3:

you think that nobody read this gossips so you really bravely write it to this community?

 

[ALI* 880]

this is truth in the form of humor

:icon_pf (34): this cannot be denied

[FrnzT 18194]

:w00:can not be denied???

I could completely make changes in men & women roles in these gossips

[Turtoise 876]

if im small

 

u r nothing:w16:

i cant see u

jealous man:w00:

 

 

 

 

you will see me

 

and in that time you will love me alot

 

hahahahahahah

[marjan17 4150]

Do you know the meaning of ABCDEFG?

 

For Boys

 

A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl

 

For Girls: Reverse Order

 

Girls Forget Everything Done & Catch new Boy Again.

Agreed?:ws3:i

 

 

[marjan17 4150]

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.

 

He said : “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!”

 

The audience was in silence and shock.

 

The speaker added: “And that woman was my mother!”

 

Laughter and applause.

 

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home.

 

He was a bit foggy after a drink.

 

He said loudly, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!”

 

The wife went red with shock and rage.

 

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out

 

“… and I can’t remember who she was!”:167:i

[marjan17 4150]

[marjan17 4150]

I Want Peace

 

Somebody Asked GOD ‘I Want Peace’

GOD Replied, “Remove The I, That Is Ego;

Remove The Want, That Is Desire;

&Peace Will Be Automatically There

[marjan17 4150]

See how boss’s reactions change as time passes

.

Beginning…..Boss

Be good, you will be fine.

After a week…

Must Work Hard man

After a month…

Must Work very hard you know!

After a Quarter….

Can you hear me, you must work hard.

 

If you are doing job at which stage your boss is?