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خدا را شكر

 

Thanks God

 

خداراشكر كه تمام شب صداي خرخر شوهرم را مي شنوم . اين يعني او زنده و سالم در كنار من خوابيده است.

 

 

I am thankful for the husband who snores all night, because that means he is healthy and alive at home asleep with me

 

____________

 

خدا را شكر كه دختر نوجوانم هميشه از شستن ظرفها شاكي است.اين يعني او در خانه است و در خيابانها پرسه نمي زند.

 

 

I am thankful for my teenage daughter who is complaining about doing dishes, because that means she is at home not on the street

 

___________

 

خدا را شكر كه ماليات مي پردازم اين يعني شغل و در آمدي دارم و بيكار نيستم.

 

 

I am thankful for the taxes that I pay, because it means that I am employed.

 

____________

 

خدا را شكر كه لباسهايم كمي برايم تنگ شده اند. اين يعني غذاي كافي براي خوردن دارم.

 

 

I am thankful for the clothes that a fit a little too snag, because it means I have enough to eat

____________

 

 

خدا را شكر كه در پايان روز از خستگي از پا مي افتم.اين يعني توان سخت كار كردن را دارم.

 

I am thankful for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard

 

____________

 

خدا را شكر كه بايد زمين را بشويم و پنجره ها را تميز كنم.اين يعني من خانه اي دارم.

 

I am thankful for a floor that needs mopping and windows that need cleaning, because it means I have a home

____________

 

خدا را شكر كه در جائي دور جاي پارك پيدا كردم.اين يعني هم توان راه رفتن دارم و هم اتومبيلي براي سوار شدن.

 

I am thankful for the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation

___________

 

خدا را شكر كه سرو صداي همسايه ها را مي شنوم. اين يعني من توانائي شنيدن دارم.

 

 

I am thankful for the noise I have to bear from neighbors, because it means that I can hear

 

___________

 

خدا را شكر كه اين همه شستني و اتو كردني دارم. اين يعني من لباس براي پوشيدن دارم.

 

 

I am thankful for the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear

 

____________

 

خدا را شكر كه هر روز صبح بايد با زنگ ساعت بيدار شوم. اين يعني من هنوز زنده ام.

 

 

I am thankful for the alarm that goes off in the early morning house, because it means that I am alive

____________

 

خدا را شكر كه گاهي اوقات بيمار مي شوم. اين يعني بياد آورم كه اغلب اوقات سالم هستم.

 

 

I am thankful for being sick once in a while, because it reminds me that I am healthy most of the time

____________

 

خدا را شكر كه خريد هداياي سال نو جيبم را خالي مي كند. اين يعني عزيزاني دارم كه مي توانم برايشان هديه بخرم.

 

 

I am thankful for the becoming broke on shopping for new year , because it means I have beloved ones to buy gifts for them

 

____________

 

خداراشكر...خدارا شكر...خدارا شكر

 

 

Thanks God Thanks God Thanks God

 

 

منبع:lorestani110.blogtak.com/

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داســــــتان زیبـــــا

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment.

مادر من فقط یك چشم داشت . من از اون متنفر بودم ... اون همیشه مایه خجالت من بود

She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.

اون برای امرار معاش خانواده برای معلم ها و بچه مدرسه ای ها غذا می پخت

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me.

یك روز اومده بود دم در مدرسه كه به من سلام كنه و منو با خود به خونه ببره

I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me?

خیلی خجالت كشیدم . آخه اون چطور تونست این كار رو بامن بكنه ؟

I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

به روی خودم نیاوردم ، فقط با تنفر بهش یه نگاه كردم وفورا از اونجا دور شدم

The next day at school one of my classmates said, "EEEE, your mom only has one eye!"

روز بعد یكی از همكلاسی ها منو مسخره كرد و گفت هووو .. مامان تو فقط یك چشم داره

I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear.

فقط دلم میخواست یك جوری خودم رو گم و گور كنم . كاش زمین دهن وا میكرد و منو ..كاش مادرم یه جوری گم و گور میشد...

So I confronted her that day and said, " If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?!!!"

روز بعد بهش گفتم اگه واقعا میخوای منو شاد و خوشحال كنی چرا نمی میری ؟

My mom did not respond...

اون هیچ جوابی نداد....

I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger.

حتی یك لحظه هم راجع به حرفی كه زدم فكر نكردم ، چون خیلی عصبانی بودم .

I was oblivious to her feelings.

احساسات اون برای من هیچ اهمیتی نداشت

I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.

دلم میخواست از اون خونه برم و دیگه هیچ كاری با اون نداشته باشم

So I studied real hard, got a chance to go to Singapore to study.

سخت درس خوندم و موفق شدم برای ادامه تحصیل به سنگاپور برم

Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own.

اونجا ازدواج كردم ، واسه خودم خونه خریدم ، زن و بچه و زندگی...

I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts

از زندگی ، بچه ها و آسایشی كه داشتم خوشحال بودم

Then one day, my mother came to visit me.

تا اینكه یه روز مادرم اومد به دیدن من

She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren.

اون سالها منو ندیده بود و همینطور نوه ها شو

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited.

وقتی ایستاده بود دم در بچه ها به اون خندیدند و من سرش داد كشیدم كه چرا خودش رو دعوت كرده كه بیاد اینجا ، اونم بی خبر

I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!" GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"

سرش داد زدم ": چطور جرات كردی بیای به خونه من و بجه ها رو بترسونی؟!" گم شو از اینجا! همین حالا

And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.

اون به آرامی جواب داد : " اوه خیلی معذرت میخوام مثل اینكه آدرس رو عوضی اومدم " و بعد فورا رفت واز نظر ناپدید شد .

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house in Singapore .

یك روز یك دعوت نامه اومد در خونه من درسنگاپور برای شركت درجشن تجدید دیدار دانش آموزان مدرسه

So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.

ولی من به همسرم به دروغ گفتم كه به یك سفر كاری میرم .

After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

بعد از مراسم ، رفتم به اون كلبه قدیمی خودمون ؛ البته فقط از روی كنجكاوی .

My neighbors said that she is died.

همسایه ها گفتن كه اون مرده

I did not shed a single tear.

ولی من حتی یك قطره اشك هم نریختم

They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

اونا یك نامه به من دادند كه اون ازشون خواسته بود كه به من بدن

"My dearest son, I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to Singapore and scared your children.

ای عزیزترین پسر من ، من همیشه به فكر تو بوده ام ، منو ببخش كه به خونت تو سنگاپور اومدم و بچه ها تو ترسوندم ،

I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.

خیلی خوشحال شدم وقتی شنیدم داری میآی اینجا

But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.

ولی من ممكنه كه نتونم از جام بلند شم كه بیام تورو ببینم

I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.

وقتی داشتی بزرگ میشدی از اینكه دائم باعث خجالت تو شدم خیلی متاسفم

You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye.

آخه میدونی ... وقتی تو خیلی كوچیك بودی تو یه تصادف یك چشمت رو از دست دادی

As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.

به عنوان یك مادر نمی تونستم تحمل كنم و ببینم كه تو داری بزرگ میشی با یك چشم

So I gave you mine.

بنابراین چشم خودم رو دادم به تو

I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

برای من اقتخار بود كه پسرم میتونست با اون چشم به جای من دنیای جدید رو بطور كامل ببینه

With my love to you,

با همه عشق و علاقه من به تو

مردان بزرگ اراده می کنند و مردان کوچک آرزو

منبع:

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راه درست

Easy is to set rules.

Difficult is to follow them...

تنظیم قوانین آسان است .ولی رعایت آنها مشکل است

Easy is to dream every night.

Difficult is to fight for a dream...

خوابیدن در هر شب آسان است ولی مبارزه با آن مشکل است.

Easy is to show victory.

Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...

نشان دادن یپروزی آسان است.با وقار پذیرای شکست شدن مشکل است.

Easy is to admire a full moon.

Difficult to see the other side...

حظ کردن از یک ماه کامل آسان است .ولی دیدن طرف دیگر آن مشکل است.

Easy is to stumble with a stone.

Difficult is to get up...

زمین خوردن با یک سنگ آسان است .ولی بلند شدن مشکل است.

منبع:

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"DON'T LET SOMEONE BECOME A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE...

 

WHEN YOU ARE JUST AN OPTION FOR THEM....."

 

five_philosophies_life_02.jpg

"NEVER CRY FOR ANY RELATION IN LIFE

 

BECAUSE FOR THE ONE WHOM YOU CRY

 

DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR TEARS

 

AND THE ONE WHO DESERVES

 

WILL NEVER LET YOU CRY......... ........ "

 

five_philosophies_life_02.jpg

TREAT EVERYONE WITH POLITENESS

 

EVEN THOSE WHO ARE RUDE TO YOU,

 

NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT NICE

 

BUT BECAUSE YOU ARE NICE........ .......... ......

five_philosophies_life_02.jpg

NEVER SEARCH YOUR HAPPINESS

 

IN OTHERS

 

WHICH WILL MAKE YOU

FEEL ALONE,

 

RATHER SEARCH IT IN YOURSELF

 

YOU WILL FEEL HAPPY

 

EVEN IF YOU ARE LEFT ALONE....... .......... ......

five_philosophies_life_02.jpg

HAPPINESS ALWAYS LOOKS SMALL

 

WHEN WE HOLD IT IN OUR HANDS.

BUT WHEN WE LEARN TO

 

SHARE IT,

 

WE REALIZE HOW BIG AND PRECIOUS IT IS! ............ ....

 

 

 

منبع:jazzaab.com

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رویای غیر ممکن (The Impossible Dream)

سراینده: جو داریون

ترجمه: مهرسا تابان

 

در سال 1965 میلادی، یکی از به یاد ماندنی ترین نمایشنامه های موزیکال تاریخ به نام “مرد لامانچا

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در تئاتر براد وی
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نیویورک به صحنه آمد که ترانه های آنرا جو داریون
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نوشته بود و موسیقی آن کار میچ لی
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بود. این نمایشنامه 2328 بار در براد وی اجرا شد و ترانه “رویای غیر ممکن
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آن هنوز پس از گذشت بیش از 40 سال، یکی از محبوب ترین و پر محتواترین ترانه غربی به شمار می رود که حس انسانیت، شرف، مسئولیت، تلاش و امید را در شنونده زنده میکند.

To dream … the impossible dream.

آرزو کردن رویای غیر ممکن.

To fight … the unbeatable foe.

جنگیدن با دشمنی شکست ناپذیر.

To bear … with unbearable sorrow.

تحمل کردن با تأسفی غیر قابل تحمل.

To run … where the brave dare not go.

شتافتن به جایی که دلیران جرئت رفتن ندارند.

To right … the unrightable wrong.

درست کردن خطاهایی که درست شدنی نیستند.

To love … pure and chaste from afar.

عاشق شدن خالصانه و غیر جسمانی از راه دور.

To try … when your arms are too weary.

تلاش کردن وقتی که دستانت بسیار ناتوان است.

To reach … the unreachable star.

برای رسیدن به ستاره ای دست نیافتنی!

This is my quest, to follow that star.

این هدف من است، که آن ستاره دنبال کنم.

No matter how hopeless, no matter how far.

هر چند دست نیافتنی، هرچند دور دست.

To fight for the right, without question or pause.

جنگیدن برای درستی، بدون تردید و توقف.

To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause.

آماده شتافتن به دوزخ بودن، برای هدفی مقدس.

(To be willing to give, when there is no more to give.

مشتاق دادن بودن، وقتی دیگر چیزی برای دادن باقی نمانده.

To be willing to die, so honor and justice may live.

(آماده جان دادن بودن، برای بقاء شرافت و عدالت.

And I know if I’ll only be true, to this glorious quest,

و من میدانم که اگر فقط به این هدف بزرگ متعهد باشم،

That my heart will lie peaceful and calm,

قلبم در صلح و آرامش خواهد بود،

when I’m laid to my rest.

وقتی که من را در گور میگذارند.

And the world will be better for this:

و دنیایی بهتری خواهد بود زیرا:

That one man, scorned and covered with scars,

که یک مرد، خوار شده و پوشیده از زخمها،

Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,

هنوز کوشید، با تمامی توانش،

To reach … the unreachable star.

برای رسیدن به ستاره ای دست نیافتنی.

این شعر توسط دهها خواننده معروف غربی تا کنون خوانده شده که یکی از دیگری زیباتر است.

برای اینکه شکوه این شعر و معنای آنرا بهتر احساس کنید، میتوانید آهنگ یا ویدئو این ترانه از طریق یکی از پیوندهای زیر بشنوید/ببینید.

منابع بیشتر:

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جملاتی در مورد خدا

 

from fruitless effort,

هنگامی که از تلاش بی ثمر خسته و نا امیدی

GOD knows how hard you have tried.

خداوند میداند که تو چقدر تلاش کردی.

 

When you've cried so long your

heart is in anguish,

زمانی که دلت شدیدا آزرده است و تو مدت طولانی گریه کرده ای

GOD has counted your tears.

خداوند اشکهای تو را شمارش کرده است

 

If you feel that your life is on hold

and time has passed you by,

اگر احساس کردی زندگی ات دچار رکود شده و زمان تو را با آن گرفتار کرده

GOD is waiting for you.

خداوند منتظر توست

 

When nothing makes sense and you

are confused or frustrated,

هنگامی که همه چیز برایت بی معناست و تو گیج یا شکست خورده ای

GOD has the answer.

خداوند راه حلش را در آستین دارد

 

 

If suddenly your outlook is brighter

and you find traces of hope,

زمانی که به طور ناگهانی اینده ات روشن تر شده و تو جرقه هایی از امید را می بینی

 

GOD has whispered to you.

خداوند به تو زمزمه کرده است

 

When things are going well and you

have much to be thankful for,

زمانی که همه چیز خوب پیش میره و (به تو نعمتهای زیادی داده شده)تا برای انها شکرگزار باشی

GOD has blessed you.

خداوند انها را به تو موهبت داشته است.

When something joyful happens

and you are filled with awe,

هنگامی که پیشامدی مسرت بخش اتفاق ما افتد و توبهت زده میشی.

GOD has smiled upon you.خداوند به تولبخند زده است.

Remember that wherever you are or

whatever you are feeling,

یادت باشه که هر جا باشی و هر احساسی که داشته باشی

GOD knows!خداوند بر آن اگاهی دارد

 

منبع:/www.cloob.com

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Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Amir an Iranian guy.

 

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Amir says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

 

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave.

 

2000 people leave the room. Amir says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

 

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Amir says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

 

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave.. 498 people leave the room. Amir says to himself, 'I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.

 

Everyone else has gone.

 

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

 

Calmly, Amir turns to the other candidate and says "in folanfolan shode chi az joune ma mikhad?"

 

:ws28: The other candidate answers "age to midouni, manam midounam!"

لینک به دیدگاه

A British, an American and an Iranian died and

all went to hell

 

The British said:

I miss England; I want to call England and see how everybody is doing

there....

He

called and talked for about 5 minutes...

Then he said: well, devil

how much do I owe you for the phone call?

 

The devil goes five

million dollars...

 

Five million dollars!!!

He made him a

cheque and went to sit back on his chair....

The

American was so jealous, he starts screaming, me too I want

to call the

United States , I want to see how everybody is doing

Too....

He

called! And talked for about 10 minutes, and then he said:

well, devil

how much do I owe you! For the phone call?

The devil goes ten

million dollars...

 

Ten million dollars!!!!! ! He made him a

cheque and went to sit back on his Chair...

 

The Iranian was extremely

jealous too...

He starts screaming and

Screaming, I want to call Iran too, I want to see how

everybody is doing

there too, I wanna talk

to everybody...

 

He called Iran and he

talked for about twenty

hours,

He was talking and talking and

talking

 

Then

he said: well, devil how much do I owe you for the phone

call?

 

The

devil goes:

One dollar...

ONLY ONE DOLLAR?!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !

 

The

devil goes: yes, well...

From hell to

hell,

it's

:ws3: :w00: local !!!!

لینک به دیدگاه

draft_lens3517392module39137512photo_1244623818Husband-And-Wife.jpg

 

A newlywed couple moves into their new

house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says,

"Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?"

The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?"

 

A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says,

"Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"

He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?"

 

Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof.

She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?"

He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?"

 

The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car.

He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,"

She says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?"

He snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him."

"Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like,"

she says, "Betty Crocker?"

لینک به دیدگاه

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside..

 

" See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful"

 

This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son."This guy seems to be a crack.." newly married Anup whispered to his wife.

 

Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy "see dad, how beautiful the rain is .."

 

Anup's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit.

 

Anup ,"cant you see its raining, you old man, if Your son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum..and don't disturb public henceforth"

 

The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied "we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth,last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."

 

The things we see may be right from our perspective until we know the truth. But when we know the truth our reaction to that will hurt even us. So try to understand the problem better before taking a harsh action.

لینک به دیدگاه

Customer Service: Can you install Love?

 

Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?

 

Service: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

 

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

 

Service: What programs are running?

 

Customer: Let me see. I have Pasthurt.exe, Lowesteem.exe, Grudge.exe and Resentment.com running right now.

 

Service: No problem. Love will automatically erase Pasthurt.exe from your current operating system.

It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs.

Love will eventually overwrite Lowesteem.exe whit a module of its own, called Highesteem.exe.

However, you have to completely turn off Grudge.exe and Resentment.com.

Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.

Can you turn those off?

 

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

 

Service: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke Forgiveness.exe.

Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge.exe and Resentment.com have been completely erased.

 

Customer: Okay, I'm done. Love has started installing itself automatically.

Is that normal?

 

Service: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your Heart.

Do you see that message?

 

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

 

Service: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.

You need to begin connecting to other Hearts to get the upgrades.

 

Customer: Oops' I have an error message already.

What should I do?

 

Service: What does the message say?

 

Customer: It says 'Error 412 ' Program not run on internal components.'

What does that mean?

 

Service: Don't worry, that's a common problem.

It means that the Love program is set up to run on external Hearts but has not yet been running on your Heart.

It is one of those complicated programming things,

but in non-technical terms it means that you have to 'love' your own machine before it can 'love' others.

 

Customer: So what should I do?

 

Service: Can you find the directory called 'Self-acceptance'?

 

Customer: Yes, I have it.

 

Service: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

 

Customer: Thank you.

 

Service: You're welcome.

Click on the following files and then copy them to the 'Myheart' directory:

Forgiveself.doc, Selfesteem.txt, Realizeworth.txt and Goodness.doc.

The system will overwrite conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also,

you need to delete 'Selfcriticize.exe' from all directories,

and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

 

Customer: Got it! Wow! My Heart is filling up with really neat files.

Smile.mpg is playing on my monitor right now, and it shows that Warmth.com, Peace.exe and Contentment.com are copying themselves all over my Heart!

 

Service: Then Love is installed and running.

You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go'

 

Customer: Yes?

 

Service: Love is freeware.

Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you are meeting.

They will in turn share it with other people, and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

 

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

 

Service: You're very welcome.

 

 

لینک به دیدگاه

The male's response to the 'Installing Husband 1.0'

Dear Tech Support:

 

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golf 3.6 were also affected .

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

 

Thanks,

Troubled User.....

 

 

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

 

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

 

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 .

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

 

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support.

I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on impro ving the situation.

I suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear' to alleviate software augmentation.

 

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

 

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance .

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs.

Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 .

Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.

I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

 

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 .

This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system and can delete all bank account information!

Best of luck,

Tech Support

 

لینک به دیدگاه

Dear Tech Support,

 

My name is Mrs. Smith…Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance,

particularly in the flower and jewelry applications,

which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,

such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf 4.1.

Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,

but with no avail.

What can I do?

 

Signed,

Desperate.

 

 

Dear Desperate,

 

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,

while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0

(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary,

Husband 1.0 is a great program,

but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

 

Good Luck!

Tech Support

لینک به دیدگاه
  • 1 ماه بعد...

Life means many things to many people. To some of us, life is nothing but another train terminal to move on to another level of consciousness. To some others, it is a lifetime opportunity to be somebody they long to. To me, however, life is simply to live. To experience. To seek deeper and wider. The road might be long, winding, bumpy, and even painful. Yet, I am determined to seek out and dig inside

 

 

It is important to me to find out what my highest level of endurance is and whether I will be able to cultivate it in the long run. Oftentimes, though, I feel like it is time for me to move on to another level, to another place, to another time. This is my ultimate temptation. Everything looks like a colorful mosaic to me. There are so many colors, so many forms and so many possibilities. Why don't I try small bites of them all?

Don't we often feel tempted to escape to the land of Easy and try it out? When I was young, I often ran away from problems, to escape, to seek for comfort and consolation. Interestingly, running away didn't solve anything. Rather, it placed me in a labyrinth of multiple problems and lowered my esteem

 

 

As a flesh and blood mortal, I have experienced many painful memories and I believe I'll be experiencing more in the future. It might sound frightening. Yes, it is, in fact I'm now shivering. One thing that I truly believe, though, that those memories are my vessel to escalate my endurance level and make me a better person, a person I have always wanted to be, dreamed of and sought for

 

Putting it simply, life is a place to do, to be and to become. There are millions of ways to become and to perform in life. Hence, there is only one truest way: in a peaceful state of mind

 

 

What is peace, then? Is it a condition where there are no fights, no bullies, no contradictory things and no wars? Is it a utopia? No, it is not a utopia, not a dream state. Rather, it is a state of mind where there are no worries, no fear and no conflicting ideas. It is a state of mind where there is no inner tension, where the primary domain is a relaxed state.

 

لینک به دیدگاه

Our world is complicated, primarily because there is no uniform state of peaceful mind. Rather, everybody adopts different mindsets because of their uniqueness. If only we could focus on one single state of peaceful mind, it could have been a better place

 

Imagine doing this to your own state of mind. It might take a meditation practice or listening to repetitious chanting melodies to develop such state. I personally find listening to repetitious chanting melodies very helpful in achieving the initial level of such state of mind

 

 

Internally, I further work with my mind to focus on positive images and develop a sense of purpose, even in the times of adversary. It does, I must admit, require a lot of courage and willpower. It took a lot of effort to focus positively, when there are negative waves around us. There are, however, several proven ways that I have been using to ensure that a peaceful state of mind stays with me most -if not all-- the time

 

 

First, I project my inner positivity outward by making affirmations that I am at peace and that I am not all alone. I won't be abandoned by my own conscience and that nothing can defeat me, especially not by myself

Second, I assure myself that it is all right for me to be different in many positive ways. I might look and sound different to others, especially my adversaries, but I am a person of righteousness and compassion. I truly understand the meaning of being a humane person and I know I am capable of acting it out without reservation to others and to my own self

Third, I am a person of high moral standard, which means that I abide the laws of nature and the laws of men. People can disagree with me, but I have nothing to fear as long as the law is on my side

Fourth, the ultimate power is with me all the time, from the day I was conceived to the day I die or vanish from the land of Souls. I, thus, have nothing to fear. Sorrows are all temporary. The only thing that is eternal is a peaceful state of mind.

لینک به دیدگاه

At last, we are all born different.

We have different states of mind,

we are unique.

Acknowledging this is the first step to a full understanding of our own peaceful state of mind.

 

When we are judged by others,

don't reciprocate

When we are disgusted, don't be sad.

When we aren't understood, don't make any expectation.

When we are offended, don't take them personally

It is important to keep a peaceful state of mind at all cost.

But never try to keep the peace at all cost.

The environment doesn't have anything to do with an inner peaceful state of mind.

Seek and you shall find.

Try and you shall find it simple.

Listen and you shall understand it effortlessly.

The peace is, after all, within you

:icon_gol:

لینک به دیدگاه

Is Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis the Longest Word?

 

 

Many people believe that the word “pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis” is the longest word in the English language, but this is largely debatable. Since this word was invented, there has been some discrepancy as to whether or not longer words existed. In fact, many people argue that pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis isn’t a word at all.

 

longestword.jpg

 

Some believe that this term is a medical term that refers to a specific type of lung disease. Others believe that this word was created to show precisely how absurd using medical terms in everyday speech can be. The truth behind either of these statements is difficult to decipher, since the term pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is used within certain circles (outside of the medical world) today.

It is not uncommon for the word pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis to appear in spelling bees throughout the world – after all, asking a young adult to spell this word is quite a challenge! The word is also used within the medical community, though it does not refer to any one type of lung disease. Rather, when a doctor is confused by the type of lung disease that a person has, it is often referred to as “pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.”

Based upon all of these facts, whether or not the word pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis can be considered a word at all is largely questioned. Still, the fact remains that the word itself does exist, is used, and is known to many people throughout the world. Thus, one might deduce that the word is, in fact, a word. Whether or not it’s the longest word in the English language is another story.

 

There are some words within the English language that span more than 300 characters. Many of the words that are longer than 300 characters are derived from other languages, yet many argue that these words are just as valid as pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. If words that are longer than 300 characters are to be considered, then pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is not the longest word in the English language.

 

If words that solely come from the English language alone are to be considered, then pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is, in fact, the longest word in the English language. In the end, trying to decide what the longest language in the English language is can be difficult, though this is one decision that’s largely up to each individual. For now, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis remains one of the largest words out there.

Silicosis_graphic_xlarge.jpeg

لینک به دیدگاه

Can you break the chains

 

As I was passing the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

 

 

I saw a trainer near by and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” he said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

 

 

 

I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

 

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

 

Moral:

 

Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.

 

If we have failed once, it doesn’t means we can never do it again. We need to try again & again if we have to success !!

لینک به دیدگاه

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